sometimes, i wish, i were beautiful or thin or lovely or smart or just anything. but i'm nothing. i don't live for real. i cannot die. i'm not happy. but i'm even not sad. i'm something between it. i'm a ghost. i'm caught between two worlds. i cannot escape. i have to stay numb. deaf. i hate it. but i cannot cry to show my feelings. i cannot explain them. i'm imprisoned in my own body.