Donnerstag, 30. August 2012

i hate, HATE!!, my therapist! i'm too fat and now she bars me from losing more weight! if i would, she'd call my parents and my psychotherapist, and maybe i'd have to go to an hospital.
i hate them
i hate them so much!!
why don't they let me get thin???


Dienstag, 28. August 2012

Mittwoch, 22. August 2012

i decided to kill myself.
i will do it! 
it's resolved.
the only thing i haven't clear up yet is, WHEN i'll do it..
as soon as possible

Samstag, 18. August 2012

fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat
i cannot think about anything other
i weighed 52kg before holidays
now i weigh 56kg
im soooooooooo fucking fat
i want to die

Samstag, 11. August 2012

and again i want to be who i have been a few month ago
please, don't try to take my depressions away from me
i don't know who i am without it
don't try to take away my anorexic thinking
it's the only thing i can rely on when i'm down again.. when i cannot rely on anything
don't take away the only thing representing me

i even feel so empty now
had a bad day
couldn't jog because my knee is hurt
couldn't swim because of my knee
couldn't surf...
ate too much and sat a second later in front of the toilett...
tomorrow its getting better...it has to... anytime...

Montag, 6. August 2012

there is one thing, i have to tell you, just three words:

i
fear
life

i cant tell how i feel. you cant understand, how i feel. you dont try. so i'll keep on pretending

Freitag, 3. August 2012

i'm getting mad!!! I NEED MY SCALES!!!!!!!!!
i don't now how much fatter i got, i need to control my weight, I NEED TO! i crack up! FUCK!